SO I DISAPPEARED FOR A WHILE. WHAT HAPPENED TO MORGAN?!
Hey, besties! The last time I posted a blog was April 12th, 2023. This was right before I officially started my position as a restaurant manager. Reading that post back to see where I was mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, etc was a real fever dream, if I’m going to be 100% with all of you. Things didn’t pan out the way I expected, but I think everything changed for the better.
For starters, I’m no longer working at the restaurant, nor am I working in the customer service industry at all.
I never had time for myself, like I didn’t have the time or energy to care for myself properly. I was working fourteen-hour days, six days a week. I only had Mondays off, and I saved those days for laundry and resting. I, maybe, had a couple of special plans on some Mondays to make me feel like a human being with somewhat of a social life, but other than that, I had nothing going for me besides the restaurant.
I talked about it a bit on Episode 98 of the podcast, but I lost 30 pounds in the first three months of working there.
I was taken to the ER in late July due to dehydration, malnourishment, and just being overworked in general.
Going into work every single day was just stress on top of stress on top of stress. There’s a lot of personal shit that went down in the time I worked at the restaurant, and some of it isn’t stuff I feel comfortable talking about just yet, but I will eventually.
I feel like the most heartbreaking, consistent feeling I had was that I felt so lost and guilty. I couldn’t find the time or the energy to work on the podcast like I originally thought I was going to be able to do. For that, I’m so sorry. I thought I was going to be able to record weekly podcasts with all the guests in the world, an up-to-date website with a blog post every month, merchandise of my own AND a new small business collaboration, a new studio with a YouTube and Patreon page set up and active, all the works.
Even though a lot of negativity brewed from this stage of my life, I would be dishonest if I said, “I wish it never happened.” This stage of my life was short, but it taught me so much about myself as a person, and it also taught me a lot about the people I chose to surround myself with. I know now that I have to prioritize myself, my well-being, and my peace. I work better in a job where I clock in, mind my own business, clock out, and enjoy my life. I have to cut people off who don’t respect me and my boundaries. I have to embrace the people who are good influences and have the best intentions in life.
I have to hold myself accountable for the shit I say, do, and carry myself, in person and online. I needed to leave to be better as a person, and I’m doing just that!
Here’s another huge update for you! I am OFFICIALLY a business owner!! No Internal Monologue is now my official small business, and I am so ecstatic that I’m finally up to this point in my life! Over the years, the thought of owning my own business motivated me to work hard and follow my passions, and now my dreams seem so much more attainable and so much closer to coming true!! AHHHHHHHHGHGHGHHHH!!!! I cannot wait to dive into my plans more and more as I evolve into what I want No Internal Monologue to turn out to be!
In regards to my merchandise collection that I was referring to in my last blog, since I still have the stickers and collection photos in my possession, I was able to get back in touch with my website designer to plan getting everything I’ve been working on so far onto the site!
Since I had my 24th birthday three days ago, I was thinking, “Why not post my first solo merch collection on my birthday?”
My website designer and I launched the first collection at 2:05 on the dot (since that was the time I was born), and I couldn’t be more jazzed to finally say I have my own merch available for my besties all over the world to purchase! Of course, it’s my first merchandise collection, and I’m going to be handling all of the orders myself, so while I get into the swing of things, I’ll be learning more and more each day to make all of my merch collections and services the best they can be moving forward!
I cannot wait for everyone to get their hands on some original No Internal Monologue merchandise!
Speaking of other updates, the only thing I need to do left for the studio is a bit more decoration, get two more microphones and two more cables for said microphones, figure out the camera I just got for visual recording, and we’re all set and ready to go! I already have so many ideas brewing in my neurodivergent, excited little brain for this silly little platform, and I’m so stoked to bring them to life and share them with all of you!
As of right now, those are the truly big updates (podcast/business venture-wise) that I can share! I’m so fortunate to get back into the podcast full swing, and I’m seriously looking forward to what No Internal Monologue can turn into before its third birthday in March of 2024! AHHHHHHHH.